What is Myrrh Anyway?

The A to Z of Christmas

2011-12-04T21:16:00.003Z

The A to Z of Christmas is now well underway over at TheChrismologist.com. Don't forget to check it out every day (of the working week) for the next update.

In the meantime, if you've not checked it out already, here's what you've missed so far.

A is for Angels

B is for Baubles

C is for Cards, Cake and Candy Canes

D is for Dom and Danny Do Christmas and Doctor Who

E is for Elf

F is for Figgy Pudding

TheChrismologist.com

2011-10-22T17:38:00.000+01:00

Just a note to let you know that this blog is no longer being updated.

To keep up with all my Christmas updates and news about my Christmas books, click this link to visit TheChrismologist.com.

Pax Britannia: Time's Arrow - Red-Handed is here!

2011-10-08T10:17:00.002+01:00

Ulysses Quicksilver: agent of the throne, dandy and hero. Heart-broken, battered, mutilated and shot, he’s been driven backwards and forwards in time... but appearing in the middle of a crime scene is never the best way to start your visit to Paris...

Time’s Arrow offers the reader a unique opportunity – to decide the course of this latest Pax Britannia adventure!

In the tradition of Charles Dickens himself, Abaddon Books will be publishing Time’s Arrow in three ebook instalments. At the end of parts one (‘Red-Handed’) and two (‘Black Swan’) readers will be able to vote on how the adventure progresses via the Abaddon Books website at www.abaddonbooks.com. The entire text will then be published in a paperback edition in 2012.

Don’t miss out on the chance to become a part of publishing history. Pre-order Pax Britannia: Time’s Arrow today!

TheChrismologist.com

2011-08-05T12:08:00.001+01:00

Remember you can keep up to date with all the latest Christmas news and festive facts about the festive season here at TheChrismologist.com.

Tell him I sent you. ;-)

Forum giveaway

2011-02-19T11:37:00.001Z

How would you like to own these four books, all signed by the author - for nothing?

Well, it's easy. All you have to do is register as a member of my new forum here and when we hit 50 members, I'll put everyone's names into a hat and pull out one winner.

That winner will then receive a copy of Howl of the Werewolf, the new edition of Curse of the Mummy, Pax Britannia: Dark Side and the Warhammer 40K short story anthology Victories of the Space Marines, which contains my Imperial Fists' story But Dust in the Wind. And I'll sign them all too.

So what are you waiting for? Don't delay, sign up today!

The Chrismologist

2010-12-26T12:53:00.000Z

Don't forget to check out my new website TheChrismologist.com for all your Christmas facts and regular season updates.

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-25T00:01:00.000Z

Christmas shopping sorted

2010-12-13T10:56:00.001Z

If you're still finalising Christmas presents, remember it's not too late to buy your loved ones (or yourself!) something from my book store.

If it's steampunk action and adventure that they're into, try my Pax Britannia books.

If they love gamebooks and fantasy adventures, try my Fighting Fantasy gamebooks.

If it's Doctor Who or Star Wars, try these, and remember that you can have a Clone Wars story, written by me, personalised.

If it's non-fiction they enjoy, try Match Wits with the Kids, or one of my Miscellanies.

And if its the grim darkness of the far future where there is only war, or the grim darkness of a quasi-Medieval world that gets them buzzing, then try one of my Black Library novels.

Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Ebenezer Scrooge and Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol

2010-12-10T00:24:00.002Z

Join the campaign to make Ebenezer's Carol No. 1 this Christmas here!

Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Ebenezer Scrooge and Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol

2010-12-10T00:24:00.001Z

Join the campaign to make Ebenezer's Carol No. 1 this Christmas here!

Let's make Ebenezer's Carol No.1 this Christmas!

2010-12-08T11:49:00.001Z

The plan:

To get Ebenezer's Carol, by The Men That Will Not Be Blamed For Nothing, to No. 1 in time for Christmas. A proper steampunk Christmas song for Christmas No. 1!

What we need to do to achieve this:

1) For Ebenezer's Carol to chart it needs to sell roughly 8,000 copies. The single needs be downloaded as a single, and not as part of the A Very Steampunk Christmas EP. It's available now from iTunes, eMusic and Amazon.

2) So, forward this message to all your friends (be they steampunks or otherwise) but remind them that they must buy the song by itself for it to get into the singles chart.

3) Blog about this, post a link on your Facebook page, Tweet about it, but most importantly - buy the single Ebenezer's Carol!

4) Arrange events themed around this, call the local press, use your contacts - whatever you've got - and we could really make this happen!

This is a chance for steampunk fans to really make themselves heard and make a difference for the future of Christmas. The fate of Ebenezer's Carol and Christmas music itself is in your hands! Let's make Christmas 2010 a Very Merry Steampunk Christmas!

TheChrismologist.com

2010-11-10T09:12:00.006Z

As long time followers of this blog (and my many others) will already know, I currently juggle about eight blogs, updating people on various aspects of my writing, and - to be honest - it was all getting a bit much, especially when there are effectively two blogs for the same book, only one of them for the American market and one for the UK.
.
So, I've decided to merge the two blogs for Christmas Miscellany and What is Myrrh Anyway? in one, easy to manage, dot com, called...
.

Click this link and check it out for yourself. In fact, why not bookmark the site and add it to your favourites today?

It's still a work in progress at the moment, but over the coming weeks I'll be adding more features and content all the time. And you can already email me all your Christmas questions direct at info@thechrismologist.com.

I look forward to seeing you there.

Christmas Stamps

2010-11-07T21:08:00.004Z

This year, the Royal Mail are bringing you a cracking variety of Christmas presents, specially designed by Aardman's studio – the home of Wallace and Gromit.

These are their Wallace and Gromit Christmas stamps...

And you can buy a whole host of other festive-related Wallace and Gromit goodies here.

Christmas Bread & Baking at River Cottage

2010-11-05T20:32:00.003Z

From £150.00 you can take part in a Christmas bread-making and baking cookery school at River Cottage HQ.

To find out more, click here.

Festive Bread

2010-11-05T17:55:00.004Z

Fancy waking up on Christmas morning and tucking into some festive bread, rather than your usual loaf? If so, then this recipe is for you.

Festive Bread

Ingredients
1 ¾ cups flour
2/3 cups brown sugar
½ teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons baking powder
2 eggs
1/3 cup butter
½ cup chopped nuts
1 jar (10 ounce size) maraschino cherries

1) Lightly grease a 9-inch loaf pan and pre-heat the oven to 350F (180C, Gas Mark 4).

2) Drain the cherries, reserving 4 tablespoons of juice, and roughly chop.

3) In a large bowl combine the flour, baking powder and salt and mix well.

4) In a separate bowl cream together the butter, sugar, eggs and the 4 tablespoons cherry juice. Mix well until fully combined. Add the butter and sugar mix to the flour mixture and mix well. Then gently fold in the chopped cherries and nuts.

5) Scoop the batter into the loaf pan, and spread evenly.

6) Bake bread for approximately 45 minutes to 1 hour or until golden and baked through. Remove from the pan and cool on a wire rack for 15 minutes.

Christmas River Cottage style

2010-11-05T17:52:00.002Z

River Cottage is warming up for Christmas.

You can place your orders here.

A Christmas Carol - by Charles Dickens

2010-11-01T16:04:00.004Z

Dickens more or less invented the Christmas spirit, goodwill to all men and general jollity in this classic ghost story, which also gave us Scrooge, Tiny Tim and Bob Cratchit. "I have endeavoured in this Ghostly little book, to raise the Ghost of an Idea, which shall not put my readers out of humour with themselves, with each other, with the season, or with me."

However, did you know that he wrote the book in only six weeks in 1843? If trying to write a novel in the same amount of time and you can follow how I'm getting on here.

Glad Tidings!

2010-10-03T20:20:00.002+01:00

All the latest Christmas news is here!

Australia Suffers from Santa Shortage

Toys R Us Hiring 45,000 for Christmas

Campaign Against Santa in Movies Growing

New Christmas Album to Reveal Unreleased Bing Crosby Holiday Songs

Build A Bear to Launch Pop-Up Stores for Christmas

Holly Jolly Jigsaw.com Launches

Hyde Park's Winter Wonderland - buy your tickets today!

2010-10-03T20:01:00.003+01:00

It may only just be October, but tickets are already on sale for this year's Winter Wonderland extravaganza, taking place within London's Hyde Park.

www.JonathanGreenAuthor.com

2010-09-24T11:03:00.001+01:00

I have a new website! Well, it's actually my other author's blog, but you can now access it by entering the much more straightforward:

www.JonathanGreenAuthor.com

So, set it as one of your favourites, along with the new www.PaxBritannia.com which is the new official way to reach the PB blog.

See you round!

Signed by the author

2010-08-04T23:09:00.001+01:00

Family Green are on the move. As of a week on Friday, we're moving out of the house that we have lived in for the last half a decade - which means packing. And it's amazing how much stuff you can accumulate in five years.

So it's goodbye to all this...

And this - my writing shelf...

And I find myself needing to off load myself of a large number of books. And this is where you come in.

You can own an original, first edition copy of the Jonathan Green book of your choice (pretty much) and it will, of course, be signed by the author.

So, follow this link to my Ebay page - but don't hang around, the items are only up for 5 days!

Scottish Miscellany - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Scotland the Brave

2010-07-10T17:07:00.001+01:00

Watch the new promotional video for Scottish Miscellany - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Scotland the Brave, here at the dedicated Scottish Miscellany blog.

Happy PGL Christmas!

2010-06-25T22:22:00.004+01:00

Today is the 25th June, which means that it's time to celebrate PGL Christmas!

If you've ever fancied working at a PGL centre, but weren't sure if it's really for you, it's worth knowing that all PGL centres organise special events for staff - including karaoke evenings, themed fancy dress nights in the bar, barbecues, quiz nights, pool tournaments and even Christmas parties on 25th June!

Win a walk on part in Dark Side

2010-04-14T09:00:00.000+01:00

It's great to see so many people getting behind the current Win a walk on part in Dark Side competition I'm running in support of the Devon Air Ambulance Trust. Abaddon Books have been bigging it up as have the guys over at Pornokitsch. And there's been a fair bit of banter on Twitter and Facebook.

Even better than that is the fact that a number of people have already entered (and been very generous into the bargain). But if you haven't entered yet, don't be put off - any donation will do, no matter how small. After all, it is for charity. Just remember to tag your donation with the comment 'Jon Green sent me' to qualify.

Good luck and (if you've already entered) thank you.

BOGOF

2010-04-07T09:15:00.001+01:00

HAPPY EASTER!

2010-04-04T18:11:00.005+01:00

Here's hoping you've had a very Happy Easter!

Happy St Patrick's Day!

2010-03-17T08:15:00.008Z

It's 17 March which means it's Guinness Day... I mean, St Patrick's Day! The annual celebration is named after Saint Patrick (AD 387–461), who is the most commonly recognized of the patron saints of the British Isles.

St Paddy's Day was once purely a Christian holiday and it didn't become an official feast day until the early 1600s. However, it is now much more of a secular celebration of Ireland's culture, and the Guinness brand in particular.

Did you know...?
2009 was the 250th anniversary of Guinness and by 2001, almost 2 billion pints a year were sold worldwide - that's over 10 million glasses every day. Unsurprisingly it is Ireland's best-selling drink, but in 2006, more Guinness was sold in Canada than in Ireland. Guinness is brewed in more than 150 countries worldwide, including Nigeria and Indonesia, and 40% of all Guinness sales are in Africa. Over the years, much slang has come about when ordering a pint of Guinness and here are just a few examples: 'Arthur G'; 'Pint of black stuff'; 'Arthur Scargill'; 'Pint of plain'. The 'Guinness is Good For You' slogan is still used in many places worldwide, and some research has apparently shown that Guinness has heart health benefits. However, Guinness now officially states that they make no such health claims.

Little is known of the early life of St Patrick, although it is known that he was born in Roman Britain in the fifth century, into a wealthy Romano-British family. His father was a deacon in the Church, like his father before him, but at the age of sixteen, Patrick was kidnapped by Irish raiders and taken to Ireland as a slave. It is believed he was held somewhere on the west coast of Ireland, possibly Mayo, but the exact location is unknown. He was told by God in a dream to flee from captivity and escape to the coast, where a ship would return him to Britain. Upon returning, he quickly joined the Church and studied to be a priest.

In 432, now a bishop, he found himself called back to Ireland, to save the native populace. He was successful in this task, focusing on converting royalty and aristocracy as well as the poor. Irish folklore tells that one of his teaching methods included using the shamrock to explain the Holy Trinity (the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit) to the Irish people.

After nearly thirty years of teaching and spreading God's word, Patrick died on 17 March 461. He was buried at Downpatrick, or so tradition says. Although there were other more successful missions to Ireland from Rome, Patrick endured as the principal champion of Irish Christianity and is held in esteem in the Irish Church.

Did you know...?

Legend has it that Patrick banished all the snakes fro

m Ireland. When people first discov

ered the fossils of ammonites, they took them to be the snakes, curled up and turned to stone. The truth is that post-glacial Ireland probably never had any snakes in the first place. However, the legend may have come about that because of Patrick's missionary work, when, in professing the Christian faith he came up against the local Druids with their serpent symbolism.

The colour originally associated with Saint Patrick was blue. However, over the years the colour green and its association with Saint Patrick's day has grown. Green ribbons and shamrocks were worn in celebration of St Patrick's Day as early as the 17th century. During the 1798 Irish Rebellion, wanting to make a political statement, Irish soldiers wore full green uniform

s on 17 March in hopes of attracting attention with their unusual fashion gimmick. The phrase 'the wearing of the green', refers to the wearing of a shamrock on one's clothing and derives from the song of the same name.

Did you know...? The Chicago River is dyed green each year for the St. Patrick's Day celebration.

Whatever you're doing today, have a Happy St Patrick's Day!

Scottish Miscellany - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Scotland the Brave

2010-02-25T23:17:00.001Z

So, time to come clean...

I'm onto the final stretch of my newest non-fiction book. Entitled Scottish Miscellany, in the best-selling tradition of What is Myrrh Anyway?, it answers all the questions you never knew you had about the Land of the Scots.

How do you play the bagpipes? What's the deal with men in skirts - sorry - kilts? What should haggis really taste like? Why is the thistle the national flower of Scotland? How do you toss the caber (and why would you want to)? When does a broth become Scotch Broth? Why is Scotland called Scotland? And is there really a prehistoric monster living in Loch Ness?

All these questions - and more! - are answered in the book, which includes recipes for traditional Scottish fare and even a beginner's guide to Gaelic. And to support its publication in the autumn, I've started a dedicated blog, which you can find here.

Scottish Miscellany is being produced by Skyhorse Publishing, who are based in New York. They were the guys behind the American edition of What is Myrrh? entitled Christmas Miscellany. (Do you see a pattern forming here?)

Here's Bill Wolfsthal to tell you a little more about the company...

St Valentine's Day cometh

2010-01-31T18:21:00.005Z

Christmas feels like a long time ago now, doesn't it. But tomorrow it's the first day of February which means that St Valentine's Day is only a fortnight away.

If you have little ones who might like to show their love for the grown-up in their life, then you should check out these Valentine's crafts.

Alternatively, if you One True Love has something of a sweet tooth, you could do a lot worse than buy them something from this range.

And you think it's cold now

2010-01-11T08:54:00.006Z

The south-east of England may be suffering from Antarctic conditions at the moment, but at least the River Thames hasn't frozen yet.

Between 1400 and 1814 (which was the last time it happened) the Thames froze over 26 times. And when it froze solid, Londoners made the most of it, holding Frost Fairs on the ice itself.

The tidal, somewhat salty Thames is a deep, fast-flowing river today, but before the Old London Bridge was demolished in 1831, the river’s waters were pooled slightly behind the medieval arches, which probably helped the ice take hold. It was also the time known as the Little Ice Age, when winters were colder and more severe than they have been since 1800.

An Exact and lively Mapp or Representation of Boothes and all the variety of Showes and Humours on the ICE of the River of THAMES by LONDON During that memorable Frost in the 35th yeare of the Reigne of his sacred Maj King Charles the 2nd

The embankments had not yet been built, either, and so the River Thames was wider, shallower, and probably a little slower moving.

The Thames froze several times in Tudor England. Henry VIII is known to have travelled from Whitehall to Greenwich by sleigh, along the River Thames, in 1536. In 1564, Elizabeth I practised her archery on the frozen Thames, whilst menfolk played football on the ice.It was said of this winter:

On the 21st of December, began a frost, which continued so extremely that on new year’s eve people went over and along the Thames on the ice from London Bridge to Westminster. Some played at the foot-ball as boldly there as if it had been on the dry land; diverse of the court shot daily at pricks set up on the Thames; and the people, both men and women, went on the Thames in greater numbers than in any street of the city of London.

On the 31st day of January, at night, it began to thaw, and on the fifth day was no ice to be seen between London Bridge and Lambeth, which sudden thaw caused great floods and high waters, that bare down bridges and houses, and drowned many people.

The first frost fair, in terms of full-scale activity and commercial stalls and sports took place in 1608. It was a cheerful and spontaneous affair.

The Long Freeze or Great Freeze of 1683/4 was one of the coldest-known English, and European, winters. The Thames froze solidly, and the ice was up to a foot deep. The frost began six weeks before Christmas, and lasted well into February.

Streets of stalls and booths stretched from bank to bank; all London’s normal entertainments made their way on to the river. A whole ox was roasted at Hungerford Steps, bear-baiting and puppet-shows were held on the ice. Skating and chair-pushing events were also set up.

A pamphlet published about the Long Frost included this passage:

A whole street of booths, contiguous to each other, was built from the Temple Stairs to the barge-house in Southwark, which were inhabited by traders of all sorts, which usually frequent fairs and markets, as those who deal in earthenwares, brass, copper, tin, and iron, toys and trifles; and besides these, printers, bakers, cooks, butchers, barbers, coffee-men, and others, who were so frequented by the innumerable concourse of all degrees and qualities, that, by their own confession, they never met elsewhere the same advantages, every one being willing to say they did lay out such and such money on the river of Thames.

The Great Frost of 1709, probably Europe’s coldest winter for 500 years, saw another large-scale frost fair. Not only rivers but huge chunks of the North Sea froze during the terrible cold of the winter, and in France, an estimated 500,000 people died of starvation and malnutrition later in the year. A London paper said:

The Thames seems now a solid rock of ice; and booths for sale of brandy, wine, ale, and other exhilarating liquors, have been for some time fixed thereon; but now it is in a manner like a town; thousands of people cross it, and with wonder view the mountainous heaps of water that now lie congealed into ice.

On Thursday a great cook’s-shop was erected, and gentlemen went as frequently to dine there as at any ordinary. Over against Westminster, Whitehall, and Whitefriars, printing presses are kept on the ice.

The last proper freezing of the River Thames in London took place in 1814. The frost set in at the start of January, and by the end of the month, the River was frozen solid. An elephant was even led across the Thames by Blackfriars Bridge to demonstrate the safety of the ice!

Hordes of traders and entertainers rushed to set up shop, and the fair was in full-swing. It was shorter than many, as the solid ice lasted only a week. Writing 20 years later, Charles Mackay said of the 1814 fair:

Each day brought a fresh accession of pedlars to sell their wares, and the greatest rubbish of all sorts was raked up and sold at double and treble the original cost.

The watermen profited exceedingly, for each person paid a toll of twopence or threepence before he was admitted to the fair; and something also was expected for permission to return. Some of them were said to have taken as much as six pounds in a day.

Many persons remained on the ice till late at night, and the effect by moonlight was singularly novel and beautiful. The bosom of the Thames seemed to rival the frozen climes of the north.

Dickens' Christmas Carol in a nutshell

2010-01-07T11:58:00.000Z

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, twelve Twelfth Night traditions

2010-01-06T07:00:00.000Z

Twelfth Night is traditionally the time to take down your Christmas tree and any other festive decorations. To leave evergreens up in the house after this point is to bring bad luck on the household!

Here are some other Twelfth Night traditions that you might - or might not - be familiar with.

1) Twelfth Night is also known as Epiphany, the date on which the Christian Church celebrates the visit of the Magi to the Christ child.

2) The feast of the Epiphany originated in the East during the third century, in honour of Christ’s baptism.

3) During a special service held at St James’s Palace, London, on 6 January, members of the Royal Household present the Chapel Royal with the three gifts brought to the Christ child by the Magi.

4) At one time, the highlight of the Twelfth Night celebrations was the cutting of the twelfth-cake, which was supposed to have a dried pea or bean hidden somewhere inside it. Whoever found the bean was proclaimed king or queen for the rest of the evening’s fun and frivolity.

5) Another tradition involving a cake, upheld by the cast of the play currently being performed at the Theatre Royal Drury Lane, is the eating of the Baddeley Cake. This is as a result of a stipulation made in the last will and testament of one Robert Baddeley, an actor from the eighteenth century, after whom the cake is named.

6) In the West of England Twelfth Night is the time when wassailing ceremonies are carried out.

7) At one time in England, Twelfth Night was known as being a good occasion on which to carry out various good luck rituals, as well as for its religious processions which almost went hand-in-hand with the spirited, and good humoured, revels.

8) One such ritual had farmers lighting bonfires to drive evil spirits away from their farms and fields, the tipsy agriculturalists cheering as they circled the fires to hasten the hobgoblins on their way.

9) There was also the time-honoured guessing game, whereby the (now probably inebriated) farmer had to guess what was being roasted in the kitchen before being permitted to re-enter his own home. This was not as easy as it might sound because his good wife might have something as ridiculously inedible as a shoe turning on the spit.

11) On 6 January you would also find Morris men dancing in the streets, along with fools and hobby-horses.

12) Practical jokes were the name of the game on Twelfth Night and the playing of games – particularly games of chance – with everyone determined to make the most of the last day of the holiday season.

So if you're planning to see Christmas out with a bang...

Love and joy come to you,
And to you your wassail too,
And God bless you, and send you
A happy New Year,
And God send you
A happy New Year.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me, eleven famous faces born on Christmas day

2010-01-05T07:00:00.012Z

Sir Isaac Newton, mathematician and scientist (1642)
Pius VI, pope (1717)
Conrad Hilton, hotelier (1887)
Humphrey Bogart, actor (1899)
Howard Hughes, businessman, film director and aviator (1905)
Tony Martin, actor and singer (1912)
Kenny Everett, comedian (1944)
Sissy Spacek, actress (1949)
Annie Lennox, singer (1954)

Dido, singer (1971)

Georgia Moffett, actress (1984)

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, ten dancing Christmas robots

2010-01-04T07:00:00.001Z

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, nine different ways to say 'Happy Christmas!'

2010-01-03T07:00:00.000Z

German - Frohliche Weihnachten

Hungarian - Kellemes Karacsonyi

Lativian - Priecigus Ziemassvetkus

Norwegian - God Jul

Portugese - Feliz Natal

Romanian - Craciun Fericit

Spanish - Feliz Navidad

Vietnamese - Chuc ban mot mua giang sinh that la vui ve

Welsh - Nadolig Llawen

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, eight unseasonal Christmas Number Ones!

2010-01-02T21:47:00.002Z

2009 - Rage Against the Machine - Killing in The Name

2006 - Leona Lewis - A Moment Like This

2005 - Shayne Ward - That's My Goal

2003 - Michael Andrews featuring Gary Jules - Mad World

2002 - Girls Aloud - Sound of the Underground

2000 - Bob the Builder - Can We Fix It?

1999 - Westlife - I Have a Dream

1993 - Mr Blobby - Mr Blobby

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me, seven New Year's hangover cures

2010-01-01T06:00:00.000Z

Enjoyed yourself last night, did you? Feeling a little worse for wear now? Then what you need is an effective hangover cure. But before we get onto some, it's helpful to know what causes a hangover in the first place.

Unsurprisingly, the answer is fairly complex. If there was a single simple reason for all that pain, you can be sure that a catch-all cure would have been discovered long ago. As it is, there is a veritable cocktail of effects, all of which conspire to make 'the morning after' a grim one.

Pure ethanol is metabolically fairly clean, but an alcoholic beverage is a combination of water, ethanol, and flavourings, and it's the identity of some of these flavourings that causes many of the problems. Red wines contain all sorts of interesting chemicals, leading to the complex flavourings typical of the breed, and although many of these impurities - such as arsenic - are poisonous, they are usually present in such minute quantities as to be relatively harmless. However, if the wine is concentrated by distillation, then as well as increasing the alcohol content, you are also concentrating the poisons. This is the reason that brandy, port and cheap red wine can give you the most monstrous hangovers, as well as gout in later life.

Dehydration is a well-documented consequence of drinking and is caused because ethanol has diuretic qualities, so you end up expelling more liquid than you drink. This also results in the loss of important salts dissolved in it. Potassium and sodium ions in particular are essential for the optimal functioning of nerves and muscles. An imbalance outside a limited range can result in nausea, fatigue, and headaches.

Ethanol also acts on the brain's pituitary gland and blocks production of a hormone called vasopressin, which usually directs the kidneys to reabsorb water that would otherwise end up in the bladder. Once this hormonal signal has been switched off, there is nothing to stop the bladder from filling up with all the water from the fluid that you drink. A supply of water is essential to the continuing functioning of the body, and when various organs find that their normal supply of water has been cut off, they steal it from anywhere they can, including the cells of the brain. Although the brain itself cannot feel pain, when it starts to shrink due to water loss, pain-sensitive filaments connecting the outside membranes to the inside of the skull become stretched, giving the symptoms of a headache.

Alcohol also attacks the body's store of glycogen, an important energy source kept in the liver, breaking it down to glucose which is then flushed out in the urine. Without this store of energy on call next morning, you are left feeling weak and wobbly.

Methanol is a simpler cousin of ethanol, and is found as a contaminant in cheap red wines, whisky and fruit brandy. This is 'meths', the fuel alcohol that makes you blind if you drink too much of it. The liver attacks it as the poison it is, but one of the break-down products is formic acid, a particularly nasty chemical which ants use to spray at their attackers.

But anyway, enough of the reasons why you're feeling rubbish and onto the cures...

1) Over the counter remedies
Sold in Australia as a vitamin supplement, Berocca is widely recognised as a hangover cure as it contains all the chemicals that are lost and destroyed in a drinking session, in the correct proportions.

N-acetyl-cysteine (NAC) is an amino acid supplement sold in health food stores, and is extremely good at mopping up the free radicals that have built up in the liver. NAC works because it is rich in cysteine, another amino acid that is used by the body in the manufacture of free radical-eliminating glutathione. For those in the know, this is a very effective hangover remedy, and is especially good if you need a clear head in the morning.

Sold in the UK as a stomach settler, Resolve is a powder that becomes a fizzy drink when added to water, and contains a painkiller and some anti-acid chemicals. Another common brand, although without the painkiller, is Alka Seltzer which comes in tablet form. For our purposes, these are best taken before going to bed, as the chances are that in the morning you won't be able to keep it down. It can work marvels, especially if followed in the morning by a vitamin supplement such as Berocca.

2) Eggs
Many traditional hangover cures, such as Prairie Oysters, omelettes and the English Fried Breakfast, involve eggs. Others swear by a downed raw egg in the morning. The reason that these are thought to work at all is probably that eggs also contain cysteine, and so help to mop up free radicals.

3) A hot shower

Another way of relieving a headache is to sit in a really hot, really powerful shower, and get the full force of it on the back of your neck. This may need some juxtaposition of plastic chairs and shower settings, so it might be an idea to practice first while sober, but it is worthwhile because headaches are often caused by constricted blood vessels and tense neck muscles. A massage under a hot shower relaxes the tension.

4) Isotonic sports drinks

In theory these are a great idea, for they are supposed to replace all the salts and sugars that are sweated out during athletic activity - surely much the same thing as we are trying to achieve here. The problem is that, due to market forces, they are usually fizzy, and probably the last thing you need while suffering a hangover is a bellyful of bloating gas. However, if you don't mind, or if you can find a flat one, it's definitely worth doing. One variation on the sports drink theme is a 50:50 mix of Tropical Tango and Red Bull.

5) Salt Solution

Apparently a poisoned digestive system is much better at taking up an isotonic solution than it is at taking up pure water, so if you're going to drink water put a spoonful of salt in it, and a couple more of sugar to increase the concentration and mask the taste. While you're at it, you might as well throw in some powdered painkillers, although bear in mind that some studies have shown that paracetamol can amplify alcohol's damaging effect on the liver. As with any medication, read the packet carefully.

6) A breath of fresh air

Popular wisdom dictates a brisk walk in fresh mountain air to dispel those post-binge blues, but the problem is that when you really need it, the last thing you're capable of doing is getting up off the floor, let alone going out into the outside world. The theory is that the increased oxygen flow improves the metabolic rate, and thus increases the speed at which the poisons are broken down. Be that as it may, SCUBA divers have long known that a blast from the tank first thing in the morning does wonders in blowing away the fog.

7) Pinching your hand

There is a nerve junction between the thumb and forefinger on your left hand which is reputed to be an acupressure point which can release tension in the head and neck. If you pinch it quite hard for 30 seconds every five minutes, normal tension headaches can be relieved. It's certainly worth trying if you can't keep down any painkillers.

And if you're really desperate there's always...

8) Kidney dialysis

Since you cannot depend on your kidneys to filter your blood properly after a binge, you could get a machine to do it for you. Admittedly most people don't have access to a dialysis machine, but if you can stand getting hooked up by nurses armed with needles while still drunk, you can be sober in four or five hours without any ill effects. Marvellous.

The following are also all commonly held to be effective hangover cures, but the truth of the matter is that they're just unhelpful myths, so I would recommend giving the following a miss in 2010...

1) Caffeine
A good strong cup of coffee or tea will perk you up at any time of day, but that's just the caffeine stimulating your tired body. It doesn't actually cure anything, and if you're at the stage when you can keep hot drinks down then you're probably on the road to recovery anyway. In addition, caffeine is also a diuretic, and you don't want to be losing any more water at this stage of the game, so from this viewpoint it may be best to avoid caffeine.

2) Hair of the dog

A tot of alcohol in the morning. For some particularly nasty hangovers, this can be useful, although the bad news is that the effect is only temporary. The liver attacks poisons in a certain order, with ethanol first. Once all the ethanol has been broken down, it starts on the methanol, which releases formic acid into your system and makes you feel bad. Hitting the liver with another dose of ethanol causes it to stop processing methanol and start on the new threat, but the methanol will have to be processed sometime so you are only postponing the hangover until later.

3) Water

The traditional hangover remedy, with folklore dictating that you should quaff a pint of water for every drink that you have consumed. Undeniably this has some ameliorative effect, but because your kidneys' water-absorption function has been switched off, a lot of it goes straight to your bladder, noticeably causing nocturnal trips to the bathroom and little else.

Disclaimer!

Please note that we take no responsibility for any ill effects caused by the remedies suggested here: you try them at your own risk. Nobody should mix their medicines. Similarly nobody should drink ten pints of lager and then eat a curry. You have been warned!

Happy New Year

2010-01-01T03:19:00.001Z

'Nuff said... ;-)

The good, the bad and the indifferent

2009-12-31T09:25:00.002Z

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, six New Year's celebrations

2009-12-31T08:39:00.004Z

It's 31 December 2009, which means that we're now counting down the hours to the beginning of a new decade.

You may well be planning to party in the New Year or carry out some familiar traditions - such as sing 'Auld Lang Syne' - so, to get you thinking, here are six familiar ways of welcoming in the New Year.

1) Watch Night

Many religious communities have a tradition of New Year's Eve being known as 'Watch Night'. The faithful of the community congregate to worship at services that commence on New Year's Eve night and which continue past midnight into the New Year. The Watch Night is a time for giving thanks for the blessings of the outgoing year and praying for divine favour during the upcoming year.

2) The Edinburgh Cannon

In Edinburgh the cannon is fired at Edinburgh Castle at the stroke of midnight.

3) Hogmanay

Scotland celebrates New Year as Hogmanay, which is the Scots word for the last day of the year. The roots of Hogmanay reach back to the celebration of the winter solstice among the Norse, as well as incorporating customs from the Gaelic New Year's celebration of Samhain.

4) Auld Lang Syne

The Hogmanay custom of singing 'Auld Lang Syne' has become common in many countries. 'Auld Lang Syne' is a traditional poem reinterpreted by Robert Burns, which was later set to music. It is now common for this to be sung in a circle of linked arms that are crossed over one another as the clock strikes midnight for New Year's Day. In Scotland the traditional practice is to cross arms only for the last verse.

5) First Footing

The practice of 'first-footing' starts immediately after midnight, and involves being the first person to cross the threshold of a friend or neighbour's house, and often involves the giving of symbolic gifts such as salt, coal, shortbread, whisky, and black bun (a type of rich fruit cake) intended to bring different kinds of luck to the householder.

6) New Year's Resolutions

It is also customary to make New Year's resolutions, which individuals hope to fulfil in the coming year. The most popular resolutions in the West include to stop smoking or drinking, lose weight or get physically fit. What will you give up (or take up) in 2010?

However you're planning to see in the New Year, I would like to wish you all a very happy and healthy...

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, five corny Christmas crackers

2009-12-30T12:13:00.002Z

Nothing says Christmas quite like the corny jokes in crackers. Here are five classics of the genre discovered by the Green family this Christmas.

Q: What is green, slimy and romantic at Christmas?
A: A mistle-toad!

Q: What game do cows like to play at Christmas?
A: Moo-sical chairs!

Q: What do you call a cat on a beach on Christmas Day?
A: Sandy Claws!

Q: What's a hedgehog's favourite food?
A: Prickled onions!

Q: What do you call two robbers?
A: A pair of nickers!

To find out more about the origins of the Christmas cracker - and the hopeless attempts at humour usually found within - follow this link to get hold of your own copy of What is Myrrh Anyway? Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Christmas.

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, four funky fonts

2009-12-29T15:51:00.003Z

The first is called Fortune...

... and to find the rest, follow this link...

On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me, three feastive tipples for a cold and frosty morning

2009-12-28T09:29:00.001Z

Woke up this morning to a hard frost. It's nearly January and it's getting very cold. So, to warm you up on these chill midwinter nights, why not indulge in a glass of something hot and spicy - in others words mulled wine!

I recommend three recipes in particular, those for Clarrey, Bishop's Wine and Glogg - and you can find all of them in What is Mrryh Anyway? Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Christmas, which is still available!

And here's how I got on when I made some Bishop's Wine for friends and family last year...

What is Myrrh Anyway? The Ultimate Christmas Quiz

2009-12-27T20:10:00.027Z

So how did you get on?

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me, two time lapse snow-themed videos...

2009-12-27T19:41:00.002Z

December 2009 Snow Storm Time Lapse from John Huntington on Vimeo.

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a dead wren in a yew tree

2009-12-26T07:30:00.002Z

Boxing Day is known for its various traditions, including horse racing and fox hunting, but a less well-known practice once regularly carried out on this day was the Hunting of the Wren.

The Hunting of the Wren, was an old ritual once performed on St. Stephen's Day by the children of the village who would go out and find a wren out in the woods, kill it, and then put it in a box. They would then drape the wren in purple cloth and decorate the box with cloth and flowers and carry it from door to door, often singing a song like this one:

Joy, health, love and peace be all here in this place
By your leave we will sing concerning our King.
Our king is well dressed in silks of the best... etc, etc...

There is some speculation as to where the tradition comes from but it may well date back to the Celts and the druidic practice of using wrens to divine the future.

Anyway, whatever you're doing today - whether it's hunting wrens, or otherwise - have a good one!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

2009-12-25T09:44:00.003Z

Here's hoping that Father Christmas brought you everything you hoped for and that you and yours have a happy and memorable Christmas.

Wishing you a
MERRY CHRISTMAS
and a
HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Best wishes

Jonathan Green

And, in case you missed the post earlier in the week, here's a present from me.

King's College Carols

2009-12-24T16:55:00.002Z

Don't forget that on BBC 2 at 6.15pm tonight you can enjoy the most sublime celebration of Christmas from The Chapel of King's College Cambridge.

The story of the Nativity is told in the familiar words of the King James Bible, along with Christmas poems by Cecil Day Lewis and Ted Hughes.

The famous chapel choir sing carols old and new, including favourites such as O Holy Night, The Sussex Carol, We Three Kings, God Rest You Merry Gentlemen and O Come, All Ye Faithful.

I Am Santa Claus

2009-12-24T08:45:00.004Z

Well I know of two small people who are VERY excited that Christmas Eve is here because they only have one more day to last until a certain tubby gentlemen with a thing for reindeer pays them a visit - or so they hope!

This post's title isn't a personal confession, but a reference to a brilliant parody of Black Sabbath's Iron Man track. So, in expectation of the fat man's house invasion on this not so snowy Christmas Eve, sit back and enjoy this existential treatise on the nature of the gift-giver the Chinese call 'Christmas Old Man'...

Health and Safety Advice for Carrollers

2009-12-23T17:37:00.002Z

With Christmas on its way the carol singers will surely be out in force.

But if you thought this seasonal tradition was as simple as singing and tin-rattling, you couldn't be more wrong.

As it turns out, there are issues that have, for too long, been left unaddressed – which is why this year's festive singers now have a health and safety leaflet to guide them.

To read more about this story, click here.

Christmas Past - The Box of Delights

2009-12-22T12:54:00.003Z

The Box of Delights is a children's fantasy novel by John Masefield, remembered as much for the BBC's dramatisation of it in 1984. In the story, Kay Harker returns from boarding school only to find himself mixed up in a battle to possess a magical box, which allows the owner to go small, go swift, experience magical wonders contained within and go into the past.

The dramatisation is noted for its yuletide atmosphere (it is set during Christmas, after all) and has become something of a nostalgic treat for followers of cult TV. The seasonal theme music is Victor Hely-Hutchinson's wonderful orchestral arrangement of "The First Noël" from his Carol Symphony.

If you've never seen it, it's worth looking it out, and if you remember it fondly from your childhood, as I do, enjoy the following clip as you take a trip down memory lane and recall a creepy children's Christmas classic...

And in other news...

2009-12-22T07:41:00.002Z

Police in the US are investigating a detective who appears to draw his gun during a mass snowball fight on the streets of Washington DC. You can watch a video clip of the incident below and read more about the story here.

How do you know when Christmas has arrived?

2009-12-22T07:31:00.006Z

Is it seeing a crisp white blanket of snow on the ground outside? Is it opening the last door on your Advent calendar? Is it Auntie Mabel coming round for extra helpings of Christmas dinner?

Well, apparently now. According to supermarkets, it's the sale of one item more than any other that announces the arrival of Christmas. And it's not mince pies, or turkey, or even Christmas pudding. It is in fact... quilted toilet paper!

You can read more about the Hyacinth Bucket phenomenon here.

NORAD Santa Tracker 2009

2009-12-22T07:14:00.004Z

It's not long to the big day now and preparations are moving up a gear - at least they are in the Green household! But what my children (and I'm sure children all over the world) are looking forward to in particular is the arrival of a certain tubby gentleman with a bulging sack.

You can follow Santa's progress across the globe on Christmas Eve via NORAD's official Santa tracker here.

But while you're waiting for the night of 24 December, why not enjoy this short video of Santa's 2008 journey around the world?

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

2009-12-21T17:22:00.006Z

This afternoon it started raining on top of the frozen snow that fell a few days ago. Then it started to sleet until at last it started to snow. This is the view in my street at the moment...

Apparently bookmakers William Hill have slashed the odds of it being a White Christmas, worried that they'll be facing a massive pay-out.

Did you know...?
It can actually get cold enough that it doesn't snow! Because snow is frozen water, if there are not enough water droplets in the air it can't snow - simple as that. As a result, the driest place on Earth isn't in the Sahara Desert or the Arizona Desert. It's actually a place known as the Dry Valleys and it's in Antarctica. The area is completely free of ice and snow, and it never rains there at all! In fact, parts of the Antarctic continent haven't seen any rain for around 2 million years! But Antarctica is also the wettest place in world, due to the fact that 70% of the Earth's water is found there in the form of ice.

For more fascinating facts like these, check out Match Wits with the Kids - available now - as well as What is Myrrh Anyway? Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Christmas.

And if you're feeling the cold, why not sit down in front of the fire tonight and enjoy a Snowball? Of the slightly alcoholic variety...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Snowball Cocktail
2 oz Advocaat
Top up Lemonade
1/2 oz Fresh Lime juice

Mix all ingredients in a cocktail shaker / stirrer and pour into an unusually shaped glass. Add Crushed Ice and decorations to create a great speciality drink from an easy to make recipe!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

And while you're sipping your Snowball, why not listen to this ode to the cocktail, celebrating the fact that you can enjoy all your favourite drinks in the same glass?

Merry Christmas from Pax Britannia and Abaddon Books

2009-12-21T13:12:00.002Z

Glad tidings I bring, to you and your kin...

Those very generous people at Abaddon Books have a seasonal gift for all eBook readers this year - a FREE Pax Britannia short story, by me, entitled Christmas Past. This special edition also has a couple of extras tucked away inside, including news of some upcoming titles.

Go to www.abaddonbooks.com/download and you can be the proud owner of a little seasonal madness from the world of Ulysses Quicksilver and Pax Britannia too!

Yo, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!

Happy Solstice! or The Extreme of Winter

2009-12-21T08:11:00.008Z

As I'm sure you already know, 21 December marks the Winter Solstice, in other words, the shortest day. Hundreds of people gather each year during the winter solstice to watch the sun rise at Stonehenge in Wiltshire, England.

The pagan celebration of the solstice was one of the most popular holidays of the year before the coming of Christmas, Hanukkah and other cultural celebrations that are now celebrated in December. Many of the participants observe the solstice because they believe it is connected to something real in nature rather than just an arbitrary calendar date.

Technically, the Winter Solstice occurs exactly when the earth's axial tilt is farthest away from the sun at its maximum of 23° 26'. although the Winter Solstice lasts only an instant in time, the term is also colloquially used like Midwinter to refer to the day on which it occurs.

The Winter Solstice Festival or The Extreme of Winter is one of the most important festivals celebrated by the Chinese and other East Asians during the dongzhi solar term on or around December 21 when sunshine is weakest and daylight shortest. The origins of this festival can be traced back to the yin and yang philosophy of balance and harmony in the cosmos. After this celebration, there will be days with longer daylight hours and therefore an increase in positive energy flowing in. The philosophical significance of this is symbolized by the I Ching hexagram fù (復, "Returning").

Traditionally, the Dongzhi Festival is also a time for the family to get together. One activity that occurs during these get togethers (especially in the southern parts of China and in Chinese communities overseas) is the making and eating of Tangyuan (湯圓, as pronounced in Cantonese; Mandarin Pinyin: Tāng Yuán) or balls of glutinous rice, which symbolize reunion. In Korea, similar balls of glutinous rice (Korean: 새알심) (English pronunciation: Saealsim), is prepared in a traditional porridge made with sweet red bean (Korean: 팥죽)(English pronunciation: Patjook).

Did you know...?
Patjook was believed to have a special power and sprayed around houses on winter solstice to repel sinister spirits. This practice was based on a traditional folk tale, in which the ghost of a man that used to hate patjook comes haunting innocent villagers on the winter solstice.

Snapdragon

2009-12-20T22:06:00.008Z

Snapdragon was a popular parlour game from the 16th to 19th centuries. It was played during the winter, particularly on Christmas Eve or Twelfth Night. Brandy was heated and placed in a wide shallow bowl; raisins were placed in the brandy which was then set alight.

The aim of the game was to pluck the raisins out of the burning brandy and eat them, at the risk of being burnt. Other treats could also be used. Of these, almonds were the most common alternative or addition, but currants, candied fruit, figs, grapes, and plums also featured. Salt could also be sprinkled in the bowl. In one variation a Christmas pudding is placed in the centre of the bowl with raisins around it.

Did you know...?

In The Winter's Tale, Shakespeare used the word 'snapdraon' as a verb, to describe a moment when a ship at sea is instantly swallowed up by a storm.

Snapdragon is also mentioned in Alice Through the Looking Glass where Alice meets the peculiar Looking-Glass insects. One of them is the Snap-dragon-fly, with a body made of plum-pudding, its wings of holly leaves and its head a raisin burning in brandy. It lives on frumenty (a traditional Christmas porridge) and mince pies, and nests in a Christmas box.

Mr Christmas feels the credit crunch

2009-12-19T08:25:00.005Z

Britain's very own Mr Christmas - who celebrates Christmas every single day - said the recession had forced him to scale back the whirlwind of daily festivities this year.

Mr Christmas (a.k.a. Andy Park, a divorced electrician from Melksham*) said his weight had plunged after slashing his mammoth daily portions of mince pies, champagne, roast turkey and all the trimmings.

He used to blow £11,000 a year on his daily Christmas knees-up but has trimmed his budget down to £5,000 in 2009.

"Before the credit crunch I was eating a 14-pound turkey, now I'm down to a four pounder. I've cut down from nine massive roast potatoes to four," Park said.

"I used to have 40 peas on my plate, now its just a tablespoon. I now have to make a bottle of champagne last two days. From 40 mince pies a day I've gone to 12 and there's no double cream."

To read more, click here.

* What I want to know is was Santa cited as the 'other party' in his divorce proceedings.

Heston's Christmas Feast

2009-12-18T18:51:00.004Z

One to watch... Bloomin' Heston Blumenthal cooks up a festive feast inspired by days of yore on Channel 4, tonight at 9.00pm...

Only 7 days to go!

2009-12-18T07:38:00.003Z

Are you excited yet?

I am. Can you tell?

Anyway, to help get you in the mood, here's Al Ewing's Pax Britannia-inspired very Abaddon Christmas...

Enjoy!

Christmas Pizza!

2009-12-18T07:25:00.004Z

As I sit at my computer this morning, looking out at houses and gardens iced with snow, my thoughts turn, once again, to food...

Fed up with the traditional turkey for Christmas or just wondering what to do with the leftovers the next day? Then why not make yourself a Christmas pizza?

Christmas Turkey Pizza

For the Dough
3/4 cup lukewarm water
1 1/2 teaspoons dry yeast
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
2 1/2 cups flour
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

For the Sauce
250ml whipping cream
4 tbsp. butter
3 cloves garlic, minced
5 strips crispy bacon, chopped

For the Toppings
1 lb. roast turkey or chicken
3-4 golden fingerling potatoes
1 small red onion
4 tbsp. whole cranberry sauce
1 sprig fresh rosemary

Preparation
1. Prepare dough – Mix all ingredients and let it rise until dough doubled in size, about 1 hour. Dust a pizza stone with flour. Roll out the dough to fit stone. Let rise for 20 minutes.

2. Preheat the oven to 425°F.

3. Prepare sauce - melt butter over medium low heat. Add garlic and saute lightly - don’t burn the garlic! Stir in the cream and bring to a simmer and reduce heat. Add bacon and simmer until desired consistency is reached.

4. Spread sauce thinly on dough then arrange the remaining toppings as desired.

5. Bake in the center of the oven until the dough is golden at the edges, about 35 minutes. Remove, let sit for 5 minutes, then cut and serve.

And here's a recipe for a sweet Christmas pizza

Sweet Christmas Pizza

Ingredients
12 ounces semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 pound white almond bark divided
2 cups mini marshmallows
1 cup rice cereal
1 cup peanuts
16 ounces red maraschino cherries, quartered
3 tablespoons green cherries
1/3 cup coconut
1 teaspoon oil

Melt chocolate with 14 ounce almond bark in large saucepan on low heat, stir until smooth. Remove from heat. Stir in marshmallows, cereal and peanuts. Pour into greased 12 inch pizza pan. Top with cherries. Sprinkle with coconut. Melt remaining almond bark with oil over low heat. Stir until smooth. Drizzle over coconut. Chill. Store at room temperature.

And here's a Christmas pizza the Franklin family made earlier...

A personal video message from Santa

2009-12-17T18:04:00.005Z

If you know of someone who deserves a personal message from Santa this year, you should log on to Portable North Pole TV.

I particularly like the option of having Santa record a message for the adult or teenager who's been bad...

What is Myrrh Anyway? The Ultimate Christmas Quiz

2009-12-17T11:09:00.000Z

Test your friends, challenge your family, it's the Ultimate Christmas Quiz!

Christmas (w)rap

2009-12-17T08:01:00.001Z

Maybe it's because I've spent too long at home with two small people for the last three years, but I like this...

Lasting posting dates before Christmas

2009-12-17T07:55:00.005Z

Remember if you're yet to get your Christmas cards in the post or you still need to send a certain special someone a gift, you haven't got long left to do it in. Last recommended UK posting dates for Christmas:

Second Class: Friday 18 December 2009

First Class: Monday 21 December 2009

Special Delivery: Wednesday 23 December 2009

The postal service is something we take for granted (although possibly less so after the strike action of recent months), but without it there would be no convenient way of sending sack loads of cards every year. As a result, the greetings card as we know it didn't appear until the Victorian era when a reliable (and, more importantly, affordable) postal service was created.

The first true commercial Christmas card went on sale in 1843 and was designed and printed at the behest of Sir Henry Cole, a businessman and philanthropist, who had played a key role in introducing the Penny Post in 1840. Thanks to the Penny Post, it was possible to send a letter or card anywhere within Britain. Cole was also the director of the newly founded Victoria and Albert Museum in London and it was his idea to give stamps perforated edges.

Did you know...?
By the late 19th century, there were between six and twelve mail deliveries per day in London, permitting correspondents to exchange multiple letters within a single day. Sounds a bit like email!

You can read more about the history of the Christmas card in What is Myrrh Anyway? and remember, it's not too late to order your copy online and have it sent to you in time for the big day!

Grow your own drugs for the Hairy Biker's Twelve Days of Christmas

2009-12-16T15:29:00.003Z

Two festive frivolities to watch on BBC 2 tonight. First there's Grow You Own Drugs for Christmas at 8.00pm with ethnobotanist James Wong concocting a Victorian hangover cure (amongst other things)...

And then at 9.00pm it's The Hairy Bikers' Twelve Days of Christmas, in which Dave Myers and Si King create an array of seasonal dishes that reinterpret the classic Christmas song...

The Nation's Favourite Christmas Carol

2009-12-16T08:43:00.003Z

The nation has spoken and chosen its favourite Christmas Carol, and it is.....?

You'll just have to wait until Christmas Day when the results of Classic FM's poll will be announced in a special live programme - The Nation’s Favourite Carol - presented by Howard Goodall on from 12pm to 3pm .

Sega's Greetings

2009-12-16T08:32:00.002Z

Sega's Christmas tree. Ahh... Now that takes me back...

Jamie's Family Christmas

2009-12-15T17:58:00.004Z

Channel 4 continues its festive season of seasonal shows based around their most popular presenters with Jamie's Family Christmas. There's a double dose tonight at 8.00pm and 8.30pm.

Over the course of the series he'll be treating us to recipes for his own Christmas turkey, Festive strudel, Roast vegetable mega-mix, Christmas spirit cocktail and Turkey con chili.

Christmas curry?

2009-12-15T09:49:00.003Z

A friend of mine is shunning turkey with all the trimmings and having curry for Christmas instead. As he puts it, "I actually like Christmas. I just think that turkey is overrated. Plus, if you go for a free-range, ethically sourced one you can be paying £60 up. Just for something that tastes a bit like chicken but drier and blander."

However, if you're still sticking with turkey (as we are in our household this year) then here's something you can do with the leftover bird the next day, as an alternative to living off turkey sandwiches for a week!

Christmas Roast Turkey Curry

500g Roast turkey
1 tsp Ginger
1 tsp Lemon juice
1 tsp Chopped coriander Salt
½ tsp Garam masala
1/3 tsp Chili powder
½ tsp Turmeric
1 tsp Ground coriander
4 tbsp Cooking oil
1 Onion chopped
4 Garlic cloves chopped
¼ cup Tomato puree
1 tsp Ground cumin

Put the oil in a hot saucepan and add the onion and garlic. Fry for 7 minutes. In a bowl, mix together: the tomato puree, cumin, coriander, turmeric, chili powder, garam masala and salt to form a thick paste. Tip the paste into the onion mixture and fry for half a minute. Stir in the turkey pieces and cook for 1 minute. Add 400ml of hot water from the kettle and simmer for 3-4 minutes. Mix in the ginger and the lemon juice.

What is Myrrh Anyway? Now on Facebook!

2009-12-14T23:11:00.002Z

You can now follow my Christmas updates, as inspired by the book of the blog What is Myrrh Anyway? on Facebook. Do pop along and become a festive fan.

Twitter next...

Marks and Spencer and mulled wine

2009-12-14T10:18:00.001Z

As I posted yesterday, the Green family went round to a neighbour's for mulled wine and mince pies - and very nice they were too, as was the company. The mulled wine that was served was from M&S, in the traditional warm-it-in-a-pan style but there was also a Mulled Wine Fizz Cocktail. Having road tested both, I can thoroughly recommend them.

The strange thing is I cannot find a link online to the M&S Mulled Wine Fizz Cocktail, not even through M&S Online - a real mystery! - but here's a link to the Aromatic Mulled Red Wine.

Enjoy!

Nativities, Christingles and Mulled Wine

2009-12-13T08:14:00.009Z

The preparations for Christmas in the Green household really started in earnest this week. First off it was Son's Nativity, next week it's Daughter's Nativity and yesterday we hit the shops (and the plastic) hard to get most of our Christmas shopping done. Oh, and the kids met Santa Claus.

This morning we're off to a Christingle service and then this afternoon we're going round to a neighbour's to enjoy some mulled wine and mince pies. But what are the origins of Nativity plays, Christingles and mulled wine?

One man is credited with creating the Christmas crib more than any other, and that is the 13th century Saint Francis of Assissi. In 1220, Francis made the pilgrimage to Bethlehem. While there, he saw how Christmas was celebrated in the town of Jesus' birth and was so impressed that he asked the Pope if he might recreate something like it in his own Italian home of Greccio.

And of course during the Medieval period, mystery plays - with mummers acting out stories from the Bible - were one of the most popular forms of Christmas entertainment. Both survive to this day, but it is normally children who act out the Nativity story itself and not the adults anymore.

The physical form of the Christingle is an orange, tied with a red ribbon and stuck with a candle and cocktail sticks bearing fruit and nuts. It is a symbolic object particularly used in Christian Advent services, hence the name given to a particular type of religious service. The word Christingle actually means 'Christ Light'. Both the Christingles that are made and the Christingle services that take place in church, celebrate Jesus coming into the world, in his aspect as the Light of the World.

The first Christingle service was held in a castle in Germany, on Christmas Eve 1747, by a bishop of the Moravian Church known as Pastor John. He wanted to find some simple way of teaching people about the true meaning of Christmas. His solution was to prepare a simple symbol which would make the Christmas message seem fresh and alive to them. During the informal service, Pastor John gave each child present a lighted candle wrapped in a red ribbon. He then intoned a prayer.

You can find out more about the origins of the Nativity play and the Christingle in What is Myrrh Anyway? Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Christmas, published by Icon Books.

And if you think the idea of warm mince pies and mulled wine on a cold December day sounds like a good one, follow this link to a piece I posted last year that includes a recipe for the utterly delicious Bishop's wine.

Jesus-shaped soap-on-a-rope doesn't wash with Catholic couple

2009-12-12T17:58:00.003Z

The BHS store in Reading has removed a gift called Jesus Soap-on-a-Rope from it shelves after a Catholic couple said it was ‘deeply offensive’. The novelty bathroom gift depicts Christ with the Sacred Heart.

The item was removed from sale following a complaint from Bryan and Elizabeth Dent. ‘The writing on it, “Wash away your sins” and “Try for Heaven with good clean living”, wasn’t funny, not for a Catholic,’ said Mr Dent, 74, of Tilehurst, Berkshire.

Now, if BHS had thought to sell a Pope Soap-on-a-Rope, they might have had a product with mass appeal on their hands.

Midnight now means 10pm

2009-12-12T16:53:00.003Z

The Pope is to break with tradition this year and celebrate Midnight Mass at 10pm, instead of midnight. The decision was apparently taken two months ago to "ease the Pope's fatigue at a time when there are many ceremonies and commitments" during Christmas holidays, said Vatican spokesman the Rev Frederico Lombardi. Read more about this story here.

JG talks turkey on BBC Radio WM

2009-12-11T20:13:00.003Z

I took part in the Ed Doolan lunchtime show on BBC Radio WM today, and it's already up on iPlayer if you didn't hear it yourself and would like to. I appear at about 1hr 12mins in and remain on the rest of the show.

Victorian Farm Christmas

2009-12-11T20:06:00.003Z

In case you hadn't seen this one it's the first part of a Victorian Farm Christmas on BBC 2 this evening at 9.00pm, or you'll be able to catch it again later on BBC iPlayer I'm sure.

What did Santa bring you this year?

2009-12-11T08:47:00.003Z

Make your own White Christmas

2009-12-11T08:43:00.001Z

With Christmas only two weeks away, you might want to start thinking about what you're going to feed all your guests this year. Well, why not make all their Christmases white with this simple recipe for a delicious festive treat from down under?

White Christmas

250g vegetable shortening
1 cup rice crispies
1 cup shredded coconut
¾ cup icing sugar
1 cup powdered milk
¾ cup toasted almond kernels
30g mixed peel
30g preserved ginger
30g glace apricots
30g glace pineapple
30g sultanas
50g glace cherries

Place the coconut, icing sugar, powered milk, mixed fruit, nuts, cherries (all chopped coarsely), and the rice crispies into a bowl and mix well.

Warm the vegetable shortening gently until melted and then pour over the ingredients. Mix well and place in a airtight container and set in the fridge.

Serve sliced into fingers.

Enjoy!

Ice, ice, baby

2009-12-11T08:15:00.003Z

Amazing as it may seem, the following are all pictures of ice. They are entirely natural.

You can see more of these incredible images here and here.

The power of water never ceases to amaze me, and that of ice likewise. Check these out to see what I mean.

Now that's what I call dedication!

2009-12-10T10:18:00.004Z

Nicola Simons calculates that she's already munched her way through 600 mince pies this year - and she hasn't finished yet! But then Nicola, 25, is the bakery product developer for Sainsbury's and responsible for creating the supermarket's seasonal range.

"Part of my job involves tasting every product, including mince pies, Christmas cakes and puddings from all our competitors, as well as reviewing our own range," she explains.

And she estimates that while developing this year's mince pies, she has chomped her way through 17kg of pastry and 18kg of mincemeat - approximately 23 jars.

"I usually spend around 12 hours a week eating, but in the run-up to Christmas this can be up to 21 hours," she adds.

To read more about Nicola's extraordinary dedication to perfecting the perfect mince pie, click here. And if you want to know what mince pies should really taste like, you can find an original Medieval recipe in What is Myrrh Anyway? available now!

JG on BBC Radio WM this Friday

2009-12-09T22:17:00.004Z

With only 16 days to go until Christmas Day itself(!) you're going to start finding me popping up from time to time in the media.

First off, if you live in the Birmingham area, you can listen to me on Ed Doolan's show on BBC Radio WM on Friday 11 December, between about 1.15 and 2.00pm. I'm going to be on talking about the origins of familiar Christmas traditions and fielding questions from callers.

So, why not call in with your own burning Christmas-related query and I'll do my best to help!

Merry Xmas!

2009-12-08T10:12:00.004Z

Every year more than 400 million people celebrate Christmas around the globe, which makes it one of the biggest religious and commercial festivities in the world.

But have you ever wondered why Christmas is so often shortened to Xmas?

In fact, the practice dates back further than you might suspect, ans has nothing to do with devaluing the Christian festival, as many people believe. In reality, both Christ and Christmas have been abbreviated for at least 1,000 years. The word Christ appears in Medieval documents as both 'XP' and 'Xt' and can even be found in this form in the Anglo-Saxon Chronicle from 1021. By why were those particular letters used?

To find out more, pick up your copy of What is Myrrh Anyway? in time for the festive season. After all, there's only 17 days to go until Christmas! (Or should that be Xmas?)

Kirsty's Christmas Homemade Home

2009-12-07T23:42:00.003Z

Crafty Kirstie Allsopp returns for a three-part special in which she creates the perfect homemade Christmas. I met Kirstie once, and ended up watching a firework display from her bedroom... but it's not as bad as it sounds. Honest!

Anyway, tune in to Channel 4 tomorrow (Tuesday 8 December) at 8.00pm. Apparently the series is a goldmine of creative ideas that viewers can replicate at home. Enjoy!

Happy St Nicholas Day!

2009-12-06T09:31:00.007Z

Yes, that's right, today is the feast day of St Nicholas - a.k.a. Santa Claus!

In many countries around the world St Nicholas is the main gift giver. In some places he arrives in the middle of November and moves about the countryside, visiting schools and homes to find out if children have been good or bad. In others he comes in the night and finds carrots and hay for his horse or donkey along with children's wish lists. Small treats are also left in shoes or stockings so the children will know if he has been by the lack thereof in the morning.

In some countries it is St Nicholas' day that is the prominent gift-giving day and not Christmas itself. Parties may be held on the evening of 5 December with shoes or stockings being left out for the saint to fill when he visits during the night.

Did you know...?

Santa has approximately 31 hours in which to deliver all his gifts on Christmas Eve, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, and assuming that he travels from east to west.

You can find out more about the origins of one of the world's most popular saints in What is Myrrh Anyway? Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Christmas - available now!

Make yourself a Victorian Christmas

2009-12-05T20:01:00.003Z

Fed up with the same old Yuletide gifts and festivities? Then why not take a trip to yesteryear and make yours a Victorian Christmas?

Just follow this link to the BBC's Victorian Farm page for a whole host of authentic Christmas recipes and activities dating from the Victorian era. There's everything from toy theatres and keepsake boxes to paper flowers and Wassail punch, with something new being revealed everyday.

Today it's mince pies made with real meat.

Babbacombe blizzard

2009-12-04T09:22:00.004Z

The village of Babbacombe in Devon has been transformed into a picture-postcard winter wonderland after it received a covering of snow.

Looks great, doesn't it?

Accept that it's fake snow that's been sprayed onto a fake village. Yes, this is Babbacome Model Village, a popular Devon tourist attraction.

Visitors can enjoy the snowbound model village from Saturday 5 December 2009 to Sunday 3 January 2010. But what I want to know is, what'll they do if it really snows? There won't be anything to see!

Christmas carols - a fictional fantasy?

2009-12-04T09:06:00.004Z

The Rt Rev Nick Baines, Bishop of Croydon, has branded Christmas carols as being nonsense - saying that adults should be embarrassed to sing them.

He also blasts nativity plays as "fictional fantasy" and claims that songs like Away In A Manger give children a "misleading" image of Jesus.

He says: "I find it bizarre when I see parents singing Away In A Manger as if it related to reality. I can understand little children being taken with the sort of baby of whom it can be said 'no crying he makes'. But how can adults sing this without embarrassment? If we sing nonsense, is it any surprise that children grow into adults and throw out the tearless baby Jesus with Father Christmas and other fantasy figures?"

Has he not heard of symbolism - something that is vital to the whole Christmas faith? I think he's treading on thin ice here. The Church needs its own to support it, not slate one of its most popular festivals which draws people in like at no other time in the year.

He also slates Once In Royal David's City for saying that children should be "mild" and "obedient", saying that "This sounds suspiciously like Victorian behaviour control." Well he would do, he's from Croydon.

His rant appears in his new book called Why Wish You a Merry Christmas? and you can pick up a copy here, if you'd like to read more.

Ding dong merrily online

2009-12-03T10:29:00.002Z

Internet retailers dubbed Monday 30 November "Cyber Monday" thinking that it would be their busiest Christmas shopping day. In the run-up to last Christmas, we spent £4.67billion using the net. But the Centre For Retail Research (CRR) expects that figure to rise to £8.9BILLION this year - accounting for one in five of all UK sales.

You can read more about the phenomenon of Christmas shopping online here.

Christmas dinner for £1.83?

2009-12-03T10:24:00.002Z

Apparently, the powers that be as ASDA believe they are offering Britain's best festive bargain... a full Christmas meal for £1.83 a head.

The luxury lunch has turkey, spuds, carrots, gravy, cranberry sauce and stuffing, followed by a Christmas pudding and six mince pies.

But if it looks anything like this, I'd personally think twice...

The Ultimate Advent Calendar

2009-12-02T21:12:00.002Z

Christmas is a time for giving, but it's also nice to receive every once in a while! That's why the people at Classic FM have teamed up with Grant's Whisky to create the ultimate Advent calendar.

They'll be counting down the days to Christmas by giving away all sorts of amazing prizes every day. From luxury mini-breaks in Scotland and fine dining on Orient Express, to this year's must-have gadgets such as Sony eBook Readers, iPod Touchs and Nintendo Wiis, there are great gifts for all the family to be won.

To use the calendar, simply follow this link and click on the relevant date to reveal the details of the daily prize and how to enter. Good luck!

What's your favourite Christmas Carol?

2009-12-02T15:02:00.004Z

Whether it’s Away in a Manger, Silent Night, Hark the Herald Angels Sing, O Little Town of Bethlehem or The First Noel, Classic FM and the Radio Times want to hear from you, because they've teamed up to search for the Nation’s Favourite Carol this Christmas.

Voting opened at 6am yesterday (Tuesday 1 December) and will close on Sunday 13 December, with the full results being announced in a special live programme - The Nation’s Favourite Carol - presented by Howard Goodall on Christmas Day from 12pm to 3pm .

To cast your vote for the Nation’s Favourite Carol, follow this link.

And if you'd like to find out more about the origins of your favourite Christmas songs, why not pick up a copy of What is Myrrh Anyway? here to gen-up on all your festive-related knowledge?

First frost

2009-12-01T19:45:00.004Z

December is here and with it came the first frost our way. I actually had to get out of the car and spray some de-icer on the windscreen! So much for global warming.

But of course parts of the UK have already seen their first snow, such as here in the Cairngorms.

And there's more to come.

But if you're wondering what the odds are this year of it being a white Christmas in your part of the UK, you can check here.

The X-mas Factor

2009-11-27T22:06:00.001Z

Four weeks today is Christmas Day, so it's time to wheel out those favourite Christmas songs of yesteryear, like this one from 2008...

The countdown to Christmas starts here!

2009-11-25T21:22:00.006Z

Yes, it's the 25 November which means it's only a month until Christmas!

But - you may be wondering - why do we celebrate the Feast of the Nativity on 25 December? And why do we bring evergreens inside our homes? And what have robins and reindeer really got to do with turkey and mince pies after all?

What is Myrrh Anyway? contains the answers to these and many other Christmas-related questions, so why not pick up a copy today and have the festive season explained once and for all?

All I want for Christmas is... swine flu? No thanks!

2009-11-23T09:10:00.006Z

Debrett's, the etiquette experts, have issued advice on how to avoid catching swine flu this Christmas.

Debrett's etiquette advisor, Jo Bryant, said: 'It's medically proven that a peck on the cheek is much more hygienic than a handshake. People carry billions of germs on their hands so 'cheek-to-cheek' kissing, French-style, is a healthier greeting by far".

The 9-Step Guide

1) BE CONSIDERATE If you're feeling unwell at the Christmas do, just stand back and observe or, better still, make your apologies and go home rather than risk spreading the lurgy.

2) THE CANDIDATE Make sure you pick a willing target and that you won't make them feel embarrassed or uncomfortable by asking for a kiss.

3) THE REQUEST If you want to give someone a Christmas kiss under the mistletoe, it's polite and well-mannered to ask first.

4) THE DECISION Decide in advance, are you going to proffer one kiss or two? Be cautious with strangers - two kisses may seem over the top, even in festive environment.

5) KEEP YOUR DISTANCE Don't get too close before or during the kiss and avoid invading the other person's space.

6) HANDS OFF It's acceptable to touch the other person's shoulders or upper arms, but don't be a sleaze with wandering hands….

7) RIGHT CHEEK FIRST It is customary to kiss the other person's right cheek first (that's the one to your left!). Deflect any "meet-in-the-middle" embarrassment with humour or a friendly apology.

8) CHEEK-TO-CHEEK Unless you know a person intimately, a social 'kiss' is actually the briefest touch of your cheek against the other person's. Because there is so little contact, there is a minimal transfer of germs - that's why a kiss is the healthier alternative to a hand shake.

9) THANK the other person and wish them a merry Christmas.

The 9 Don'ts

1) Don't go to the Christmas do if you think you have flu.

2) Don't proffer unwanted kisses at the office party, mistletoe or not.

3) Don't reject a kiss under the mistletoe - a festive peck is all part of Christmas fun.

4) Don't leave a saliva trace - remember it's cheek-to-cheek.

5) Don't kiss on the lips - reserve this for private romantic moments.

6) Don't kiss anyone if you, or they, have a mouthful of food or drink.

7) Don't kiss the air.

8) Don't make sound effects.

9) Keep away from the mistletoe if you've had too much to drink - your social skills will be impaired & you don't want any of those morning-after regrets.

So, some words of wisdom to ponder there. After all, the last thing you want for Christmas this year is swine flu, otherwise you might just end up looking like this guy.

Santa with swine flu a.k.a. the Hogfather, from Terry Pratchett's Discworld

Meet Angus

2009-11-12T19:16:00.004Z

He was built in the western Maine town of Bethel ten years ago, and when this photo was taken he was the tallest snowman in the world.

Angus, King of the Mountain, stood 113 feet, 7 inches tall. He weighed 9,000,000 lbs, was made up of 200,000 cubic feet of snow, had 4 ft. wreathes for eyes, his carrot nose was made from 6 ft. of chicken wire & muslin, 6 automobile tires formed his mouth, with another 3 skidder tires for his buttons, he had a 20 ft. fleece hat, a 120 ft. fleece scarf and two 10 ft. trees for arms.

The photo above was taken on 19 February 1999. Angus didn't melt until 10 June 1999.

Christmas in the Trenches

2009-11-11T15:09:00.004Z

At the eleventh hour on the eleventh day of the eleventh month, 1918, the guns fell silent...

For many serving in the trenches during the First World War, Christmas was spent in the trenches as well. On Christmas Day 1914 a legendary football match is supposed to have taken place in the middle of No-Man's-Land between the Allies and the Germans, but no one knows what the final score was as no one bothered to keep count.

The legend became immortalised in the video for Paul McCartney's Pipes Of Peace.

In truth, some said the Germans won 3-2, but whatever the facts of the matter, the truce gradually came to an end in the same way it had begun - by mutual consent. It never happened again.

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.

The Ultimate Christmas Quiz at the UCS Beyond Words Festival 2009

2009-11-10T18:23:00.001Z

Well I survived the What is Myrrh Anyway? Ultimate Christmas Quiz experience at the UCS Beyond Words Festival and sold a few more books, which is always nice. It just remains for me to thank Martin Hitchcock and his able assistants Sophia, Katie, Hal and Ian, for all their help and for making me feel so welcome, and Najma of Icon Books for arranging the session.