Mr Christmas feels the credit crunch

Britain's very own Mr Christmas - who celebrates Christmas every single day - said the recession had forced him to scale back the whirlwind of daily festivities this year.

Mr Christmas (a.k.a. Andy Park, a divorced electrician from Melksham*) said his weight had plunged after slashing his mammoth daily portions of mince pies, champagne, roast turkey and all the trimmings.

He used to blow £11,000 a year on his daily Christmas knees-up but has trimmed his budget down to £5,000 in 2009.

"Before the credit crunch I was eating a 14-pound turkey, now I'm down to a four pounder. I've cut down from nine massive roast potatoes to four," Park said.

"I used to have 40 peas on my plate, now its just a tablespoon. I now have to make a bottle of champagne last two days. From 40 mince pies a day I've gone to 12 and there's no double cream."

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* What I want to know is was Santa cited as the 'other party' in his divorce proceedings.